About a girl

I am attracted to the idea of evolution, progress, curiosity. You could say these are my core values. I can understand (at least in part) how I created these values for myself.

My entire life is build on the premise of evolution and it will continue to be like this for as long as I will be alive.
Evolution allowed me to turn my back on everything that was painful about who I was in the past. Evolution allowed me to create something better, something out of passion, out of thirst for a better feeling, for better experiences.

I don't know who I would have been without this core value. I wouldn't have met the people I've met. I wouldn't have changed they way I have.

Reality has many possibilities. Out of the many possible outcomes, every decision I've made propelled me here, to this place in time and space. I am a mix of emotions I never thought I could posses.

I feel empowered but humbled by the heaviness of everything I can understand and see with my soul and my body.

I’m not fatalistic by nature but I have a certain, specific heaviness about my way of being.
This makes me take certain radical decisions about my life’s journey and although I cherish safety and coziness, I hate having my life wrapped completely in consistent comfort.
It is how I am.
Not an excuse, not a desire to be something else, not a rebel-statement; this is who and how I am and I accept it more and more.

I like challenges, I like to grow, I like to be stimulated intellectually, to feel stupid so I can learn to be smarter, to not know things now so I can learn them for later, I love being pulled and pushed further into a better version of me. I love doing this pulling and pushing myself but I simply gorge in the sensation of having someone else do that for me.

I could say the girl became a woman. Someone who is growing into more and more of a woman, who is awake, who cannot take things for their current status quo, who needs to shout, to push, to demand her space into this world of many men and many women.
This woman wants a life worth living, she wants a richness and a complexity that will enable her to be better.
Life is meant for the reasons we give it. And our reasons need to be exquisite and delicious.