Onions

It feels almost like a cliche to say that learning who you are, at your core, comes as you get closer to the age of 30.

I’m almost certain there are revelations with any age, each weighing in more and having more depth than the previous. But there is something about the age of 30 which makes it so fascinating for me;

The prospect of living in this world for the past 30 years comes with a sudden chill down my spine, which feels both good and terrifying at the same time.

We make all these decisions and screw things up from time to time and it’s only when we look back, we tend to see the bigger picture. Maybe things were supposed to happen a certain way; maybe you needed to act a certain way in order to develop the skill of seeing the bigger picture.

The only, more frustrating thing about the journey of life, is the exact moment when you see the big picture; simply because right then and there, it gets bigger and you cannot see it once again. You see it from above until it stretches out so much that you lose the edges once more.

Maybe this is the purpose we need to create in life; to reach a point where big picture is visible but immerse ourselves again into the picture to sort out through the plethora of details.

Going back to the idea of revelations and feeling like we get to peel things once we reach the age of 30, I think it’s only partially dependent on age. Experience needs to properly accommodate the journey and here is where decisions and mistakes reside.

It helps us peel things; it helps us become aware of what was missing, of what we’re yearning for, of why we chose certain themes to create and develop.

The more we peel, the more we learn. The more we learn, the bigger the initial confusion. But I know, deep down I know, confusion is good. Confusion will accompany growth, in one way or another.

So I’ll be here, holding on this journey through peeling, confusion and wondering. It’s better to eat a sweet stew instead of a raw, dusty onion we just bought from the market, right?