The grand illusion

From a young age, we’re exposed to various relationship dynamics. We first see it through our parents (or lack there of), then we see it through endless fairytales and child stories. We see it with our siblings, with our neighbours, with our friends.
We witness a colorful array of relationships, some healthier than others, and through this observation we create a spectrum of values and a certain sense of expectation regarding our self in rapport with another human.

We create 'normalcy' and whatever it signifies for us and then we proceed, unconsciously, to running a script which involves that normalcy we defined.
We take things as they are and we don't second guess our aspirations when it comes to what we envision relationships to be.

The woman who, as a young child, heard repeated stories of a Prince saving a beautiful princess and living happily ever after in a white castle is prone to develop a longing for the perfect prince and no matter how much she goes into her adult life looking for him, she will feel as if he’s elusive.

The man, who as a small boy, was completely suffocated by his mother, might create the ideal relationship as one in which he is forever a child and the woman forever his mother or, to a more opposite position, believe woman sexuality is nonexistent and will tend to homosexually alter his behavior.

The woman, who, as a young girl, witnessed a violent dynamic in her family, might associate that abuse with love, and might turn her to look for repetitive abuse in all her romantic endeavours.

I’ve only given three narrow examples on how our exposure, coupled with our unique genetic make-up, might enable us to create stories, certain scripts, almost completely unconscious.
We can, however, re-write our sense of normalcy, through various techniques, such as therapy, meditation, self-awareness, breathing techniques, music, art.
Any activity that can help us turn on that introspective eye and make it alert has the potential to heal and nurture.

We have been exposed, too many times, and without paying too much attention, to various relationships and we’ve taken those to be the only reference system for our own relationships.
It’s time we turn our minds and spirits to all other agents and it’s time we expose ourselves openly to alternative ways to create a sense of normalcy.
Through reading, therapy, art, meditation, we can create a new spectrum, one which will not only be unique to us, but it will feel freeing and nurturing for the life we know we want to live, but feel unable to at the moment.

Heal. Love.
And grow.